Chuckles for the day!

IF YOU NEED A GOOD LAUGH, TRY READING THROUGH THESE CHILDREN'S SCIENCE EXAM ANSWERS:

Q: NAME THE FOUR SEASONS
A: SALT, PEPPER, MUSTARD AND VINEGAR.

Q: EXPLAIN ONE OF THE PROCESSES BY WHICH WATER CAN BE MADE SAFE TO DRINK.
A: FLIRTATION MAKES WATER SAFE TO DRINK BECAUSE IT REMOVES LARGE POLLUTANTS LIKE GRIT, SAND, DEAD SHEEP AND CANOEISTS.

Q: HOW IS DEW FORMED?
A: THE SUN SHINES DOWN ON THE LEAVES AND MAKES THEM PERSPIRE.

Q: HOW CAN YOU DELAY MILK TURNING SOUR? (BRILLIANT, LOVE THIS!)
A: KEEP IT IN THE COW.

Q: WHAT CAUSES THE TIDES IN THE OCEANS?
A: THE TIDES ARE A FIGHT BETWEEN THE EARTH AND MOON. ALL WATER TENDS TO FLOW TOWARDS THE MOON, BECAUSE THERE IS NO WATER ON THE MOON, AND NATURE HATES A VACCUUM. I FORGET WHERE THE SUN JOINS IN THIS FIGHT.

Q: WHAT ARE STEROIDS?
A: THINGS FOR KEEPING CARPETS STILL ON THE STAIRS.

Q: WHAT HAPPENS TO YOUR BODY AS YOU AGE?
A: WHEN YOU GET OLD, SO DO YOUR BOWELS AND YOU GET INTERCONTINENTAL.

Q: WHAT HAPPENS TO A BOY WHEN HE REACHES PUBERTY?
A: HE SAYS GOOD-BYE TO HIS BOYHOOD AND LOOKS FORWARD TO HIS ADULTERY.

Q: NAME A MAJOR DISEASE ASSOCIATED WITH CIGARETTES.
A: PREMATURE DEATH.

Q: HOW ARE THE MAIN PARTS OF THE BODY CATEGORIZED? (e.g., abdomen)
A: THE BODY IS CONSISTED INTO THREE PARTS -- THE BRAINIUM, THE BORAX AND ABDOMINAL CAVITY. THE BRAINIUM CONTAINS THE BRAIN, THE BORAX CONTAINS THE HEART AND LUNGS, AND THE ABDOMINAL CAVITY CONTAINS THE FIVE BOWELS: A, E, I, O AND U.

Q: WHAT IS THE FIBULA?
A: A SMALL LIE.

Q: WHAT DOES "VARICOSE" MEAN? (I LOVE THIS ONE)
A: NEARBY.

Q: GIVE THE MEANING OF THE TERM "CAESARIAN SECTION."
A: THE CAESARIAN SECTION IS A DISTRICT IN ROME.

Q: WHAT DOES THE WORD "BENIGN" MEAN?
A: BENIGN IS WHAT YOU WILL BE AFTER YOU BE EIGHT.