Andy Borowitz: It's humorous but could be true about the conservative element

Pat Robertson: God Let Zoo Animals Escape to Bite Gay People

Televangelist Stirs Controversy With Latest Remarks

ZANESVILLE, OH (The Borowitz Report) – As dozens of escaped exotic animals terrorized the town of Zanesville, Ohio, the Rev. Pat Robertson raised eyebrows today by saying that “God allowed those wild animals to escape because he wanted them to find gay people and bite them.”

Rev. Robertson, who made his remark during a regular broadcast of his 700 Club television program, said that the Book of Revelation made explicit reference to “escaped lions, tigers and bears running around Ohio biting gay people” as a prelude to the Rapture.

The televangelist also contradicted local officials who were had warned Zanesville residents to remain indoors until the all the animals had been accounted for: “Really, those animals won’t bite you unless you’re gay.”

The escaped wild animals immediately became a hot-button issue in the race for the Republican presidential nomination.

At a campaign stop in South Carolina, Texas Gov. Rick Perry said, “If the authorities are putting innocent creatures to death, I’m for it.”

And in Iowa, Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-Minn) told reporters, “We should ship those animals back either to the Congo or to Africa."