Donald Trump's Song of Himself

Donald Trump's Song of Himself
By Jaime O'Neill

I have a little world view
It suits me to a T
It may not work for everyone
But it surely works for me.

I think the poor are lazy
And not as good as me
A few may be good people,
But the rest want stuff for free.

I cherish all the women
But hope that you agree
Megyn Kelly is an awful bitch
And Rosie's real ug-ly.

Most Mexicans are rapists
That's plain for all to see
They're coming for our women
And their virginity.

I am a sublime human being
As special as can be
That's why I'm so rewarded
And have so much mon-ey.

That old 14th Amendment
Just don't work for me
Don't want no anchor babies
Livin' here for free.

I say a prayer for trickle down
Each time I take a pee
It works so well to keep me rich
And livin' life tax-free.

In fact, I get lotsa other breaks
In the form of subsidies
The politicians give me real good deals
Nearly anytime I sneeze.

I'll build a really pretty wall
And name it after me
Mexicans will be made to pay
So they can't come aqui.

We'll be the best that ever was
Or that will ever be
Trumpland (aka America)
From sea to Trumpish sea.

Pundits say that what I do
Is campaign pornography
And that the "awful" things I say
Will sink the GOP.

But I don't give a tinker's damn
It doesn't bother me
More fun than this I couldn't buy
My ego's on a spree.

The media all just eat me up
Hell, I could charge a fee
And make all the TV hacks
Pay just to talk to me.

I'm nearly all the news you'll hear
From CNN to NBC
It's summer entertainment
But it's not democracy.

I don't care about that neither,
Because I'm all that's on TV
It may sometimes be ugly
But it's real reality

It ain't about good government
It's about celebrity
It's about sucking up all TV time
From Joe to Hannity.

And now this song is ending,
Though I hope that you will see
There's more to hear and more to love
About a wondrous guy like me.