A great column - oh so true!

Genital Politics
By Stephen Pizzo

I love watching this whole emerging "War on Women" business. You might have noticed that most of the "warriors" on the GOP side of this war are men. That's the part I like most. I mean really, think about it for a minute.

I have more insight on this than a woman would, since I am a male and, as such, have hung around most of my 66-years with other males. So I know how the "secrets" of being male...the kinda of stuff that goes on between our ears we never, EVER share with women. Hell, we don't even share them with other men. Men, after all, are not all that into the whole "sharing thing" to begin with. But some stuff is even more out of bounds than others. And that's what I'm talking about here.

First of all, men are babies. My wife is a Family Nurse Practitioner and sees male patients all day, and she confirms this, in spades. Men come in with real and imagined - almost always minor - complaints whining and demanding she fix them immediately. And that just sets the stage for the issue at hand.

First, let's admit it, men got the better deal in the whole genital/reproductive system business. That's just a biological/mechanical/hassle-free fact. Our gonads are on the outside, meaning no intrusive inspections are required. (Hell we guys want to make a break for the exam-room door at the very sight of a doctor snapping on a rubber glove!)

Then comes our part in procreation. We do our minimal part in the process, then sit around for nine months watching the consequences do things to our partner's bodies that would send us begging the nearest doctor to just put us in a coma until this science fiction-like transformation is over.

And don't even get me started on actual childbirth. I was with my wife for our two kids' births and let me tell ya, if men had to go through what I saw (and heard) the earth would be filled with one-child families, because no man in his right mind would go through that more than once. Period.

Oh, and then there's the whole menstruation business. Imagine a freshly adolescent boy getting his first period. After his mother rounded him up from the backyard where she found him screaming in terror (I'm bleeding to death.. help, I'm bleeding to death!) and doubled over with cramps, he would demand a trip to the nearest hospital for a full hysterectomy. Which of course means the human race would have died out millions of years ago.

I only mention all this because, as I noted above, most of those pushing to ditch Planned Parenthood, make abortions illegal, restrict birth control and such, are men. Sure there are women involved as well but, hey, there were Jews who collaborated with the Nazis and blacks that fought for the South during the Civil War. There's no accounting for such behavior, so I'm not even going to try. The bottom line is that the War on Women is a war being fought largely by pricks.... a pun heartily intended.

That's all I have to say about this, except for a quote from Gloria Steinem:

"If men could get pregnant, abortion would be a sacrament."

Amen Sister. Amen.