Humorous bit - Very close to the truth

LIMBAUGH ROOTING FOR PLANET TO EXPLODE--SAYS IT WILL BE GOOD FOR GOP
by Andy Borowitz

In remarks that seemed guaranteed to create controversy, conservative radio host Rush Limbaugh said today that he was "rooting for the planet Earth to explode" because it would help the GOP retake the White House.

Mr. Limbaugh elaborated on his planet explosion theory, explaining that if the world blows up in the next four years "it will happen on Barack Obama's watch."

"Let's face it, the world exploding would be great for the GOP and Barack Obama knows it," he said. "That's why he is doing everything in his power to keep the planet from blowing up."

While asserting that he had his fingers crossed that the planet would detonate sometime in the next four years, he said that there were other scenarios he found equally appealing.

"If the population of the U.S. was suddenly afflicted with plagues, locusts and open sores, that would be fantastic for the Republican Party," he said. "I'm rooting for all of those things to happen."

In an appearance on CNN, Republican National Committee chair Michael Steele seemed to distance himself somewhat from Mr. Limbaugh's remarks, telling Wolf Blitzer, "Rush is a great entertainer who just wants to make people laugh, like Bobby Jindal."

Hedging a little, Mr. Steele insisted that despite perceived differences, he and Mr. Limbaugh are on the same page: "Rush is rooting for me to fail, and I am in fact failing."

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More from Jon Stewart re. Rush Limbaugh: great video

Revealing the real Rush: http://crooksandliars.com/media/play/wmv/7473/26410

Most people wonder how anyone could follow a man like this and accept his claiming them as his "dittoheads." But there actually are people in our country at this time who believe Rush Limbaugh is telling them the truth in all his rantings and ravings--and agree with him. Believe it or not, he is now the de facto head of the (much-diminished) Republican party!

I'm grateful to Jon Stewart for putting together this video "trip down Memory Lane" for those who may not quite recall the "best (or worst) of Rush." It is a wonderment that those who claim him as their leader can somehow stomach all of this (yuk!) and cheer him on. Thank god their numbers are getting fewer every day. It's nice to know there is a limit to what even some stalwart Bushaholics can stand.

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Side Effects by Steve Martin

One of my favorite humorous essays of all time!
SIDE EFFECTS by Steve Martin

From The New Yorker, April 13, 1998.

DOSAGE: take two tablets every six hours for joint pain.

SIDE EFFECTS: This drug may cause joint pain, nausea, head-ache, or shortness of breath. You may also experience muscle aches, rapid heartbeat, and ringing in the ears. If you feel faint, call your doctor. Do not consume alcohol while taking this pill; likewise, avoid red meat, shellfish, and vegetables. O.K. foods: flounder. Under no circumstances eat yak. Men can expect painful urination while sitting, especially if the penis is caught between the toilet seat and the bowl. Projectile vomiting is common in thirty per cent of users--sorry, fifty per cent. If you undergo disorienting nausea accompanied by migraine and raspy breathing, double the dosage. Leg cramps are to be expected; one knee-buckler per day is normal. Bowel movements may become frequent-in fact, every ten minutes. If bowel movements become greater than twelve per hour, consult your doctor, or any doctor, or just anyone who will speak to you. You may find yourself becoming lost or vague; this would be a good time to write a screenplay. Do not pilot a plane, unless you are among the ten per cent of users who experience "spontaneous test-pilot knowledge." If your hair begins to smell like burning tires, move away from any buildings or populated areas, and apply tincture of iodine to the head until you no longer hear what could be taken for a "countdown." May cause stigmata in Mexicans. If a fungus starts to grow between your eyebrows, call the Guinness Book of World Records. May induce a tendency to compulsively repeat the phrase "no can do." This drug may cause visions of the Virgin Mary to appear in treetops. If this happens, open a souvenir shop. There may be an overwhelming impulse to shout out during a Catholic Mass, "I'm gonna w*p you wid da ugly stick!" You may feel a powerful sense of impending doom; this is because you are about to die. Men may experience impotence, but only during intercourse. Otherwise, a powerful erection will accompany your daily "walking-around time." Do not take this product if you are uneasy with lockjaw. Do not be near a ringing telephone that works at 900 MHz or you will be very dead, very fast. We are assuming you have had chicken pox. You also may experience a growing dissatisfaction with life along with a deep sense of melancholy--join the club! Do not be concerned if you arouse a few ticks from a Geiger counter. You might want to get a one-month trial subscription to Extreme Fighting. The hook shape of the pill will often cause it to become caught in the larynx. To remove, jam a finger down your throat while a friend holds your nose to prevent the pill from lodging in a nasal passage. Then throw yourself stomach first on the back portion of a chair. The expulsion of air should eject the pill out of the mouth, unless it goes into a sinus cavity, or the brain. WARNING: This drug may shorten your intestines by twenty-one feet. Has been known to cause birth defects in the user retroactively. Passing in front of TV may cause the screen to moiré. Women often feel a loss of libido, including a whole octave lowering of the voice, an increase in ankle hair, and perhaps the lowering of a testicle. If this happens, women should write a detailed description of their last three sexual encounters and mail it to me, Bob, Trailer Six, Fancyland Trailer Park, Encino, CA. Or E-mail me at hot-guy.com. Discontinue use immediately if you feel that your teeth are receiving radio broadcasts. You may experience "lumpy back" syndrome, but we are actively seeking a cure. Bloated fingertips on the heart-side hand are common. When finished with the dosage, be sure to allow plenty of "quiet time" in order to retrain the eye to move off stationary objects. Flotation devices at sea will become pointless, as the user of this drug will develop a stone-like body density; therefore, if thrown overboard, contact your doctor. (This product may contain one or more of the following: bungee cord, plankton, rubber, crack cocaine, pork bladders, aromatic oils, gunpowder, corn husk, glue, bee pollen, dung, English muffin, poached eggs, ham, Hollandaise sauce, crushed saxophone reeds.) Sensations of levitation are illusory, as is the sensation of having a "phantom" third arm. Users may experience certain inversions of language. Acceptable: "Hi, are how you?" Unacceptable: "The rain in Sprain slays blainly on the phsssst." Twenty minutes after taking the pills, you will feel an insatiable craving to take another dose. AVOID THIS WITH ALL YOUR POWER. It is advisable to have a friend handcuff you to a large kitchen appliance, ESPECIALLY ONE THAT WILL NOT FIT THROUGH THE DOORWAY TO WHERE THE PILLS ARE. You should also be out of reach of any weapon-like utensil with which you could threaten friends or family, who should also be briefed to not give you the pills, no matter how much you sweet-talk them.

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Jon Stewart's comments on CPAC -- great Daily Show video!

http://crooksandliars.com/media/play/wmv/7463/26384

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Jack Cafferty: My Crush on Michelle Obama

I also admire Mrs. Obama -- she is a winner in every way!!! Cafferty's remarks should make everyone smile...(except for Rush Limbaugh's right-wing Republican dittoheads who are already programmed by their master to hate her).
http://www.cnn.com/2009/POLITICS/03/03/cafferty.first.lady/

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A Reader's Comment on Rush Limbaugh's "oops" re. the Constitution

I think this reader on Huffington Post has made an exceptionally insightful comment on Rush and those who follow him:

This speechification by Rush is an example of why folks like himself, who rely on a narrowly defined audience believing they are correct or nearly correct on every subject, choose to avoid such public forums. They are filled with peril and trouble, as well as they expose the sheer realism of how 'average' these radio pundits are when they attempt to move into political roles.

But, the task is made even more difficult when those attempting such things have lies, racism and delusion at the center of their message, even when they have looked the other way as Bush crushed the spirit of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness---their argument seems only relevant and important when they are out of power. Virtually, they have no credibility or honesty about themselves and the reality is that they are not perfect and they don't have some special values and beliefs which are so wonderful that everyone must experience them.

We simply have a bunch of white superiority freaks still trying to convince themselves that they are some unique group with some unique insight into the Constitution, business and finance---yet they have nothing except their own claims by its own membership to back its arguments.
--V.Samuels

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Oops - Rush misquotes Constitution in his CPAC speech

Not that his fans will care -- they are used to accepting errors, falsities, and flagrant deception on everything their leaders tell them. For proof of that, one only has to look at the right-wing e-mails that are being sent out against Obama that are filled with lies and misrepresentations. And isn't it strange how the Rush fans are obsessed with protecting the Constitution, yet never noticed at all when it was being shredded by Bush and Cheney during the last eight years?

RUSH LIMBAUGH MIXES UP CONSTITUTION AND DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE
During his much-discussed keynote address at the Conservative Political Action Conference on Saturday, Rush Limbaugh accused Barack Obama of pursuing the "bastardization of the U.S. Constitution."

It was one of the more politically acidic notes in a speech defined by rambling political assaults. But the conservative talk show host wasn't exactly standing on firm footing. Just a few moments earlier he himself had actually -- not theoretically -- "bastardized" the Constitution by confusing it with the Declaration of Independence.

From Limbaugh's speech:

We want every American to be the best he or she chooses to be. We recognize that we are all individuals. We love and revere our founding documents, the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence. [Applause] We believe that the preamble to the Constitution contains an inarguable truth that we are all endowed by our creator with certain inalienable rights, among them life. [Applause] Liberty, Freedom. [Applause] And the pursuit of happiness. [Applause] Those of you watching at home may wonder why this is being applauded. We conservatives think all three are under assault. [Applause] Thank you. Thank you.

Limbaugh, it seems, meant to say "Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness," which, of course, is in the Declaration of Independence. Just to be sure, however, the Constitutional Accountability Center compared his remarks to the Constitution's preamble, and didn't find a match.

Here is the Constitution's Preamble: "We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America."

In the end, of course, Limbaugh's gaffe was just that: a rhetorical hiccup in an otherwise long (the speech went on for 90 minutes) and brash address. Still, in the process of accusing Obama for a lack of reverence of the Constitution, it would have undoubtedly served him better to have properly recognized the Constitution himself.

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Frank Rich's column today is filled with truth--about Republicans--and about Obama's plan

EXCELLENT ANALYSIS of the times we are living in!!!
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/03/01/opinion/01rich.html?_r=2

EXCERPTS:

Re the GOP: What such G.O.P. “stars” as Sanford and Jindal have in common, besides their callous neo-Hoover ideology, are their phony efforts to portray themselves as populist heroes. Their role model is W., that brush-clearing “rancher” by way of Andover, Yale and Harvard. Listening to Jindal talk Tuesday night about his immigrant father’s inability to pay for an obstetrician, you’d never guess that at the time his father was an engineer and his mother an L.S.U. doctoral candidate in nuclear physics. Sanford’s first political ad in 2002 told of how growing up on his “family’s farm” taught him “about hard work and responsibility.” That “farm,” the Charlotte Observer reported, was a historic plantation appraised at $1.5 million in the early 1980s. From that hardscrabble background, he struggled on to an internship at Goldman Sachs.

Re Obama's plan: Handing more public money to the reckless banks that invented this culture and stuck us with the wreckage is the new third rail of American politics. If Obama doesn’t forge a better plan, neither his immense popularity nor even political foes as laughable as Jindal can insulate him from getting burned.

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The sad news about racial hatred in our country

Reading the story below is enough to make you cry -- when oh WHEN will this kind of thing die out on our planet? The ignorance that fuels it is still rampant across all levels of income. White supremacists exist in every income and educational level throughout our nation. Although years ago you would find these people voting as Democrats, there was a huge shift when Lyndon Johnson signed the Civil Rights Act in 1964. The Republican Party now owns most of these racists. There are levels of racism within that party, with many of the more educated people not even considering themselves as racist, yet they send around messages on the Internet that include racial slurs and threats at Obama and his family. Just look at the recent political cartoon in the NY Post, in which Obama was likened to a chimpanzee that lay dead on the sidewalk, killed by the police, one of whom said to the other, "They'll have to find someone else to write the next Stimulus bill." This was defended by many Republicans as just "harmless humor."

And then there are the full-out, Katie-bar-the-door racists with a capital R -- the white supremacist neo-Nazi types, spurred on in their madness by right wing cartoons and other political spewings of that kind. I am very concerned for the safety of our president and his family, with those types giving full vent to their hatred on the Internet and in despicable, vicious plans and actions. The article and video below tell the story of that kind of hatred that is still alive and well in America in the 21st century. Racial hatred just keeps rolling along through the generations of the ignorant and uneducated, many of whom still maintain membership in the KKK. But what also gives me chills are the numbers of Americans who think they are open-minded and compassionate -- and who harbor this kind of hatred within themselves, even with all their education and "compassionate Christian" upbringing. Their inability to see the dichotomy between their professed Christianity and their racial intolerance (and often intolerance of gays as well) is an amazing feat of mental compartmentalization. Until their consciousness can be raised (perhaps in many generations down the line), leaders like Obama--and anyone who is deemed "different'--will be in constant danger from the crazies in our world, who hear the hysterical fear-based rhetoric of the right wing as a drumbeat stirring them to violence.

We need to keep praying for our president and his family, that they will be kept safe from harm as Obama tries to right the many wrongs that were done to our country in the Cheney/Bush years.

THE SLUDGE OF HATE RISES HIGHER ON OUR SHORES
by David Neiwert

VIDEO:
http://crooksandliars.com/media/play/wmv/7431/26298

When President Obama visited Camp Lejeune this morning, you have to wonder if this story was somewhere in the back of his mind:

A federal grand jury indicted a former Camp Lejeune Marine on Wednesday on charges that he threatened the life of Barack Obama, the U.S. Attorney's Office confirmed today.

Kody Brittingham, 20, formerly a lance corporal with 2nd Tank Battalion, 2nd Marine Division, was accused of making threats against Obama while he was president-elect, said Robin Zier, a spokeswoman for the U.S. Attorney's office for the eastern district of North Carolina.

Brittingham was arrested by the Jacksonville Police Department on breaking and entering charges in mid-December 2008.

Naval investigators discovered a journal allegedly written by Brittingham in his barracks after his arrest by civilian authorities in December. The journal contained plans on how to kill the president, as well as white supremacist material, a federal law enforcement official said.

This incident is just one of many that are bubbling up across the American landscape right now. The right-wing race haters are not only motivated and out recruiting heavily, they're getting angrier by the day, especially the more Obama successfully advances his agenda. We've been writing about this for awhile now.

CNN's Rick Sanchez had on Mark Potok of the Southern Poverty Law Center yesterday to discuss this. The main point revolved around the SPLC's annual report on the State of Hate, written by David Holthouse:

From white power skinheads decrying "President Obongo" at a racist gathering in rural Missouri, to neo-Nazis and Ku Klux Klansmen hurling epithets at Latino immigrants from courthouse steps in Oklahoma, to anti-Semitic black separatists calling for death to Jews on bustling street corners in several East Coast cities, hate group activity in the U.S. was disturbing and widespread throughout 2008, as the number of hate groups operating in America continued to rise. Last year, 926 hate groups were active in the U.S., up more than 4% from 888 in 2007. That's more than a 50% increase since 2000, when there were 602 groups.

As in recent years, hate groups were animated by the national immigration debate. But two new forces also drove them in 2008: the worsening recession, and Barack Obama's successful campaign to become the nation's first black president. Officials reported that Obama had received more threats than any other presidential candidate in memory, and several white supremacists were arrested for saying they would assassinate him or allegedly plotting to do so.

At the same time, law enforcement officials reported a marked swelling of the extreme-right "sovereign citizens" movement that wreaked havoc in the 1990s with its "paper terrorism" tactics. Adherents are infamous for filing bogus property liens and orchestrating elaborate financial ripoffs.

The SPLC has an interactive map that lets you see where each of these hate groups is based and just who they are. As usual, California again leads the nation as the state with the most hate groups with 84; Florida is a distant second with 56.

Sanchez and Potok also discussed the recent case of the would-be dirty bomber in Bangor, Maine, whose plans were nipped in the bud when his angry wife shot him to death.

As always, the remarkable thing about these cases is that these would have led the broadcasts at Fox and CNN (not to mention set off weeks' worth of obsessive posts at Michelle Malkin's joint) had the suspect been Muslim, Arab, or otherwise had brown skin.

As I noted previously:

In other words, hate groups are almost certainly going to be exploiting fresh opportunities for recruitment, both ideological and actual. The stage has been set by the past decade's demographic shift, but the Bush Recession will in any event give them a big jug of gasoline for their bonfire. Obama's election will give them a figure upon whom they can focus their hate, and the immigration debate will give them an issue to recruit and organize around.

Eventually, innocent bystanders in the general public will be the ones who pay the price.

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Obama's Speech to Marines at Camp Lejeune

For those who are interested:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/02/27/obamas-iraq-speech-video_n_170565.html

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Diseases and deaths of composers site

Interesting site -- telling of the diseases that caused the deaths of major composers -- and some of the medical treatments they endured in their time.
http://www.ahsl.arizona.edu/about/exhibits/diseasesofcomposers/wagner.cfm

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PLEASE HELP SENATOR LEAHY TO FIND THE TRUTH

I personally think we need more than a Truth and Reconciliation Commission -- my preference would definitely be a true investigation and prosecution of Bush, Cheney, and everyone in their administration who abused their office to lie to the American people and to damage our Constitution and the U.S. image all over the world. But Senator Leahy's proposal could be a start -- and may be the only thing the Obama administration would even consider. I don't think we can move forward, as President Obama says he wants to do, until we have addressed what happened -- and make sure it NEVER happens again! So I have signed Leahy's petition -- you may want to read it and see if it is something you want to sign.

Dear Friend,

We have just emerged from a time when White House officials often acted as if they were above the law. That was wrong and must be fully exposed so it never happens again.

That is why Senator Patrick Leahy has proposed the idea of a truth and reconciliation commission to investigate abuses during the Bush-Cheney Administration. These abuses may include the use of torture, warrantless wiretapping, extraordinary rendition, and executive override of laws.

Rather than vengeance, we need a fair-minded pursuit of what actually happened. The best way to move forward is getting to the truth, finding out what happened, so we can make sure it does not happen again.

Please join me by signing Senator Leahy's online petition at http://www.BushTruthCommission.com -- urging Congress to consider establishing a truth and reconciliation commission to investigate the Bush-Cheney Administration's abuses.

Or, click the link below:

http://ga3.org/campaign/btcpetition/8uebbkk91j58xexj?qp_source=feb09_btc2

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Wow! AMAZING PERFORMANCE!

Terry Fator, best ventriloquist EVER! And a marvelous singer as well!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qNJ02rxaNrs&feature=related

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Bobby Jindal's speech panned by everyone, including Republican pundits

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/02/25/bobby-jindal-response-pan_n_169710.html

Obama and his forceful, dynamic speech would have been hard for anyone to follow -- but Jindal seemed pathetically ill prepared. Nothing he said resonates any longer with the American people--with the exception of those who hold fast and hard to the neocon spin. These folks believed everything Cheney and Bush told them. Plus, they think Sarah Palin is great and Joe the Plumber is a hero. If you put an articulate adult in front of them who speaks the plain and simple truth, they are unable to recognize it.

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Written in 2004 -- but still applies today

Article written in 2004 about Bush supporters in Florida and how they think:
http://www.rollingstone.com/politics/story/6539082/bush_like_me/4

Here is another article about what is happening right now with Republicans who are pouring out vitriolic hatred at Obama, 30 days into Obama's presidency. Imagine what they'll be like a few more months down the road:
Unhinged in 30 days: the Right Wing media's Obama era implosion
http://www.smirkingchimp.com/thread/20427

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Another example of Republican idiocy (as if we needed it)

REMOVING ALL DOUBT
By Steve Benen

http://www.washingtonmonthly.com/archives/individual/2009_02/017003.php

EXCERPT: Five years ago, Sen. Jim Bunning (R-Ken.) won re-election despite odd and erratic personal behavior. Now, in advance of another re-election fight, Bunning is acting strangely again.

Last month, Bunning decided not to show up for work for a while, and refused to say publicly where he was. More recently, the Kentucky Republican has been more tight-lipped, at least until this weekend.

U.S. Sen. Jim Bunning predicted over the weekend that U.S. Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg would likely be dead from pancreatic cancer within nine months.

Note to Bunning: better to remain silent and be thought a fool than speak and remove all doubt.

One Reader's comment:

Bunning has plenty to answer for - not only his absences (the first week of new Senate for a "family commitment" he'd made six months before? Sounds like a rehab clinic to me). His bizarre behavior could either be drug/alcohol related, or he's in early stages of dementia. Or, I suppose, he could just be a jerk. But this is the kind of thing that the Dems could go after him for:

Jim Bunning Foundation

On December 18, 2008, the Lexington Herald Leader reported that Sen. Bunning's non-profit foundation, the Jim Bunning Foundation, has given less than 25 percent of its proceeds to charity. The charity has taken in $504,000 since 1996, according to Senate and tax records; during that period, Senator Bunning was paid $180,000 in salary by the foundation while working a reported one hour per week. Bunning Foundation board members include his wife Mary, and Cincinnati tire dealer Bob Sumerel. In 2008, records indicate that Bunning attended 10 baseball shows around the country and signed autographs, generating $61,631 in income for the charity.[16] "The whole thing is very troubling," said Melanie Slone, Executive Director for Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington.

NOTE: 25% of those proceeds is only $126,000. He paid himself MORE than that for an hour per week, over that time-frame. Wanna bet that he didn't pay taxes on any of it either?

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Krugman's Argument for Nationalizing Banks

I think his argument is a good one, and I hope Obama listens to it:
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/02/23/opinion/23krugman.html?_r=2

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Obama's Seven Days in May Moment

by Robert Parry
This article should be read in its entirety -- and also the Readers' Comments that follow it:
http://www.smirkingchimp.com/thread/20400

EXCERPT:
Only one month into his presidency, Barack Obama is finding himself confronting not only George W. Bush’s left-behind crises but an array of influential enemies in the military, financial circles, the political world and the media – determined to thwart Obama’s agenda for “change.”

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Three of John Wheeler's songs are now on youtube

Andre Pais, a young man from Portugal, is here in California for 3 months, talking with John Wheeler and attending John's meetings. He has put 3 of John's songs on youtube--and added their words to the screen.

You can hear John sing these songs at:

Song of the Sixth Patriarch

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_7OTA_75xwY

In This Moment (John's newest song)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9jwdEM46XLw

Zen Medley
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a4M5NDdMl3M

You might notice that the words to the Sixth Patriarch Song (Hui Neng) have just a couple of glitches on the screen, which should be corrected at some point. They don't quite match the words John is singing. Those corrections are as follows:

I made up my mind I would journey to his feet and (not I) ask him to lead me to the one reality.
and
Who would (not Who'd) have known (in every mention)
and
Buddha is the light in my own (not on) mind (in every mention)

Enjoy!

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Important to know about charitable donations

DONATIONS INCREASINGLY GO TO CHARITIES' TELEMARKETERS IN CALIFORNIA
http://www.sacbee.com/topstories/story/1643082.html

EXCERPT:
If you give to a charity over the phone, there's a growing likelihood that most of your donation will go to the telemarketer instead, according to an analysis of California state records.

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